of being treated like there is something wrong with me. My family, I know that they mean well, but every time I get together with any of them it's oh, well what can you eat, or can Vanessa eat that? Last night my mom was on the phone with my uncle talking about Thanksgiving and of course, the conversation turned to about me. So she was telling him about what would most likely work for me, and he goes "Well the people that I know that have had the lapband doesn't have problems eating anything." I know, that every patient is different, my doctor has told me that. Some people can have problems with almost everything, others don't. But I'm getting so tired of feeling like I have something physically wrong with me that people need to worry about. It makes me feel like freak.

Off my soapbox. Has anyone else had these types of issues with family?

Hi V!

Yes I have had these challenges. I decided to change the things I said like "I can't eat that or that doesn't work for me" to I can eat anything you have or make." Then I would only CHOOSE what I felt up to eating.

For instance, take a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. If people were around and you are helping in the kitchen or you are having appetizers, make sure people see you having a protein shake or some protein. If they ask why, just tell then that your body requires some quick fuel.

Then, when it comes time to sit down, if someone asks what you can eat, just say, "I will start with some turkey (protein) and I'll see if I need anything else, I am not too hungry at the moment. Then later, add some vegies or a taste of this and that. If someone questions you, you can always say something like "Thanks for the concern, but, I'll save this for a snack in a few hours" or "I eat something every couple of hours so I don't get too hungry. "Or I am saving myself for a slice of desert" or my favorite: "I only have so much room and I am going to use that room for the things I don't get everyday."

It is hard to explain to family what is going on. Maybe you'll be able to come up with a good response when they make you feel like they are taking their concern for your diet.

I HOPE THAT HELPS SOME... any ideas out there banders?

xoxox Lynn

Hiya Vanessa and Lynn - apologies for the looooong delayed response... Great suggestions btw Lynn - I was gonna suggest similar. Luckily for me I haven't had any issues with my family regarding the roux-en-y gastric bypass. But if I did - I would just be vocal about the WLS process and educate those who might be naysayers about the process and how it has helped immensely. A lot of people believe the notion that any WLS is an "easy way out" or even "cheating" -- Obviously we know different.

So yes - vocalize that you chose WLS because all other way you attempted to maintain a healthy weight didn't work. And let them know that surgery is a restrictive process which allows you to eat only so much at one time. The more people know about the process, the more likely they are to accept and not give you such a hard time about it.

Then again - as you loose weight - there might be a bit of jealousy LOL - but that's a different story entirely. Anyway - good luck with it - and continue to strive for success.

Jacquii.