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MsJacquiiC · #1

You've just begun or recommitted to your weight loss surgery (WLS) lifestyle. You have a good meal plan in place; you're motivated; and you've chosen an effective exercise program. It would seem as if you're destined for weight loss surgery success.

There are also some practical ways of dealing with the day-to-day sabotage you may encounter as you attempt to stick to your WLS program.

Then, along comes your mother with a plateful of brownies...your husband offers you a half a bag of potato chips...and your children are begging you to take them to a fast food restaurant. You've just come face to face with sabotage--and it isn't a pretty sight.

While your family may be well meaning, they could also be the biggest obstacle you must overcome as you try to stay on track with your WLS program. It is important to recognize that more than likely your family is not consciously trying to prevent your success. In fact, they probably don't realize they are sabotaging your WLS program with their offers of fattening food.

"I've seen it happen so many times to my weight loss patients that when they come in and confess they fell off the wagon, I'm ready with my ritual response: 'Who did this to you?'" Colleen Pierre, a registered dietician and professor at Johns Hopkins University, wrote in an article published by Rodale Press. "They're always shocked to think that someone else may have had a hand in their weight loss failure," Pierre wrote.

According to Pierre, while an individual may be ready to change his or her eating habits, those around him or her may be leery of change. Even though they might welcome the fact that he or she is trying to lose weight, they don't want to change their own lifestyles to accommodate the WLS patient.

And there are other reasons why friends and relatives may sabotage your success. For instance, they might feel guilty because you're losing weight, while they are not. In their minds, giving you a piece of cake or a hot fudge sundae is one way to return to "normal."

In other cases, they may not understand how difficult it is to lose weight. If they themselves don't have a weight problem, they may wonder why you would want to pass up some of your favorite foods. They may also miss the socializing that goes with eating. For instance, they may miss your fried chicken picnics, or the time you used to spend together sharing a late night snack.

What can you do to fight back against sabotage? Pierre recommends exercising regularly in order to improve your mood, paying close attention to your food intake, and keeping a diary of everything you eat (include how much, where, when, and what your feelings were at the time).

"This will keep you honest, and it may also help you recognize the people and events that do you in. Then you can develop strategies to deal with them," Pierre said.

Another part of your battle plan can be to try to recruit your friends and family to take your side. A number of studies indicate that, if you have a support network of people who support your meal plan, you are more likely to succeed.

For instance, New York City nutritionist Shira Isenberg told syndicated columnist Charles Stuart Platkin that friends and relatives bring "an increase in self-confidence by validating the individual's choice to lose weight, a reduction in overall stress, and increased attention to achieving the overall goal."

And they accomplish this without offering you food. Platkin recommends that you work to create your own support network. This should include joining a WLS support group (or starting one, if necessary), urging your relatives and friends to eat healthy as well, or making new friends who are less likely to engage in sabotage. You can also find support through WLS discussion boards and chat rooms on the Internet.

Meanwhile, Dr. David L. Katz, a contributor to O, Oprah Winfrey's magazine, suggests that you need to realize that there are a host of reasons why friends and family may be sabotaging your success.

"Sometimes friends simply want you to feel good about yourself as you are," Katz writes. "Spouses and significant others may have other motivations, such as jealousy. They may worry that if you lose weight, you'll lose interest in them at the same time."

Katz recommends an up-front approach to dealing with saboteurs.

"Truth is the best policy. Tell everyone important to you what you're up to, and ask for their help. (And unless you do plan on leaving your spouse when you slim down, reassure the poor soul!) This not only makes 'inadvertent sabotage' nearly impossible, it also offers the opportunity for crucial support from the people you love," Katz wrote.

Katz suggests that, when dealing with sabotage, there is strength in numbers.

"With a team backing you up, you become much more powerful," Katz wrote.

There are also some practical ways of dealing with the day-to-day sabotage you may encounter as you attempt to stick to your WLS program. For instance, if you are going out to eat with friends, find out ahead of time what the restaurant offers that you can eat safely. When your meal arrives, put half of it in a to-go box before you start eating so that you don't continue to pick at the food after you're full.

You might even convince someone to share a meal with you to limit your portion. Be sure to eat slowly, and tell your friends you are there mainly for the company, not for the food. Don't starve yourself in anticipation of your evening out--otherwise, you could end up making bad choices at dinner time.

If you find yourself being sabotaged during weekends with your family, you should consider changing your grocery buying habits. If you don't purchase high-calorie snacks, even for your children, you're less likely to be tempted.

Also, use a scale of one to ten to determine how hungry you are at any given moment. If one represents being a tiny bit hungry and ten represents starving, eat only if you would rate yourself a six or higher.

But what if, despite your best efforts, you give into temptation? The important thing is not to despair. One relapse will not defeat your WLS success. Try your best to remove yourself from the tempting situation and start again. You'll find that, in the long run, your efforts at combating sabotage will pay off.

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